“In all of our relationships, we can only give what we have.” Determining the purpose of that relationship helps you realize how much you’re willing to give. So what purpose do you serve in your current “relationships”? And by relationships I mean friendships, partnerships, committed relationships, marriages and even the unforgettable “situationships”. Are you giving all that you have, or are you holding back? From experience I learned that most people hold back because they fear being vulnerable. Is that a true statement for you?
For a long time I held back for that very reason. “I hate being vulnerable!” That’s what I said to myself as I tried to pick up the pieces of my shattered world, and piece them together. Being vulnerable left me broken, emotional and confused. It opened my heart and let a person inside. They knocked down every defense barrier I ever built. Which caused me to feel like I never felt before. Yep, that’s right, I was in love! One of my greatest fears. I guess you can call it “Facing Your Fears”. Now my second greatest fear was about to take flight. Yep, you guessed it: “Falling Out Of Love“. That journey was the ultimate struggle. We kept in contact throughout, which made it even harder to get back on track. Therefore, all contact had to cease. It took about two and a half years to finally feel like myself again. Maybe three but who’s counting?
That’s when my real journey began. I took that experience to really reflect on where I wanted to be as a woman, a friend, a daughter, a student and a future wife. I made the commitment to myself to make sure I made improvements in all those aspects of my life. To become a better woman, I looked up to the women who raised me(mom, Nana, grandma, aunts and mentors) and I aimed to be better than them. My motivation was, if these women are fantastic in their own way, I know that I could take something from each and be super fantastic. I’m still in the process of accomplishing this. To become a better friend, I promised to always be there, even when they didn’t need me. To become a better student, I promised to try my hardest and graduate from college. I accomplished the first part of my promise by earning my Bachelors of Science. The second part of my promise is to earn my Masters of Science in Computer Science. I will be accomplishing that soon. To become a future wife…………….well let’s just say, I almost started to feel a little vulnerable again.
To be continued……………
True beauty is in the brain
Geeky Girl Nish 
More more more….lol good Nisha, I felt like I was somewhat reading my own story. I’ll be sure to tune in.
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I definitely can relate to the fear of vulnerability, mostly in relationships but I realize I do this with friendships as well. It’s challenging but in the end it’s worth taking that leap! I know my purpose…but I’m still finding the best way to show it! Best of luck to you on your journey!
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Thank you sis. Every day has been a journey. I’m excited to see where I end up. Facing my fears of being vulnerable with a person is one of the hardest things to overcome. With time I’m sure things will be fine.
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Sis!!!! Very well written! You painted a clear picture by using just words. And maybe it’s so good because it’s relatable to so many women. It seems like you’ve conquered a lot while growing into a woman and that’s so awesome. The last step will come, unexpectedly, and it’ll be the best completion to your life. Continue to have faith! Love you!!!
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Looking forward to future posts from you Nish! I enjoyed it and of course am sitting here waiting for the rest! I kno blogs turn into the greatest collection of thoughts so I’ll just patiently sit here as you gradually share your world in a light so many of us can relate to! Love you nerd and looking forward to supporting your blog!
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I don’t think this could have been put together any better… This was me.. Yes I’m young but I have been through enough..
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Wooow sis, I really enjoyed reading this it speaks on exactly some of the challenges that us women face in our lives. Its good insight and empowerment, looking forward to reading more.
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This was very good.
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I can completely relate to this. Being vulnerable and open has never beem easy for me, and when I trust someone, being hurt by them makes it more difficult to trust people in the future. I’m glad I’m not the only one who’s felt that way.
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I need more cuz . I def can relate
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ADP… I NEEDED to read this! I’m literally in that space now, trying to figure out where I am, where I’m going, what I’m giving and losing in all the relationships in my life. Trying to be strong when I feel weak; trying to give of me what I lost in a broken heart…wow…this post is hitting home. Thank you
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Beautiful post!! It’s amazing how sometimes we can feel ass though we’re the only ones going through the heartbreak and the journey and we’re not!! But that heartbreak and picking up the pieces are the road map to ultimate happiness!! Great Job!!
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well said! Seems that my issue is the total opposite im always too vulnerable too soon, always wearing my heart on my sleeve. I could use some lessons on holding back. Lol
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I love it Sis and I can relate in so many ways. I was scared straight but I think I am ready again.
I see you low-key venting. Lol
Keep it up. I’m all in… 😉
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Now now Nishas.. I love this new an improved sister! You’ve come along way. I know we have our private conversations but I love this open put it all out, well some of it out on the table nishas. It’s funny how we all have that fear of being vulnerable, not living up to our full potential and sometimes not belonging. But once we sit back and watch those barriers break down and begin to build on those very things we were once afraid of we become better women, daughters, sisters, wives and friends. I applaud you for facing your fears of being vulnerable and letting little ol’me into your world. I’m glad I’ll be able to watch you grow! Love ya!
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GUCCI! This was written perfect Neo! I could relate on so many levels. I applaud you for facing your fears and be able to let us all in, on what most people would hide from the world! Can’t wait until the next one! Proud of you and I know that everything will work out for the best!
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Fatty this was nice um I wanted to read more and man I had that feeling before smh. Love you fatty
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